Sexual Orientation (Such as Same-Sex Parents) Does Not Influence Parenting Skills

In today’s world, the rise of same-sex marriage has led to an increase in families headed by same-sex parents. In response to this, quite a number of influential individuals and associations have heavily criticized the practice of same-sex parenting, implying that it negatively affects the normal development of children brought up under such a system. Despite this, same-sex parents’ children can have a better moral sense, can be more patient and responsible, experience higher levels of mental freedom and happiness, and end up more open-hearted than children with parents of the opposite sex.

Most critics of same-sex parenting argue “Children will incline towards regarding the sex of their parents as the superior of the two human sexes” (Massey & Merriwether 129). However, the children of same-sex parents do not always favor one sex. This is because they receive a lot of counseling from their parents. Their parents are usually aware of the uniqueness of their marriage and as their children grow, they explain to them the importance of making personal decisions and expressing their feelings as they wish (Massey & Merriwether 129). Such advice is very common in same-sex marriages and provides their children with the freedom of viewing either sex without any bias.

Even with the increased instances of same-sex parenting, homosexuality is still a controversial issue in most areas of the world. Furthermore, even in countries where it is legal, “same-sex parents face much pressure from various parties in their communities” (Massey & Merriwether 129). Because of this, they often talk with their children about such issues. Thus, both the talks to their children and the pressure they face from the surrounding environments make the children more likely to consider it “normal,” and will reveal that they are homosexual because they are not afraid of their parents judging them. Because of this, children from same-sex parents are usually more open-minded and capable of expressing their feelings freely.

The development of children is heavily influenced by the environment they are raised in. Competent parenting skills have more of an effect on the developing children than the sexual orientation of the parents. For efficient and effective growth and development of children In order to raise children in a positive environment, a number of fundamental aspects are necessary, such as “parental attachment that makes the child feel valued, time and attention from parents, understanding of their needs, and individual treatment” (Cosconat). As long as same-sex parents are able to provide the fundamental requirements for their children, their sexual orientation is in no way relevant to the wellbeing of their children. As opponents of same-sex parenting continue to criticize it, “attention turns to the conflict between marriage equality and religious liberty” (NeJaime 1169). While there is nothing wrong with it, religion is not required to raise a loving family. From observations, same-sex families are not only as capable of being as warm and happy as families with heterosexual parents, but can also be happier. In their bid to prove to the world that their parenting skills are valid, gay and lesbian couples do the same activities as heterosexual couples. They stand by their children as usual. In some instances, their efforts to create the normal family warmth and cohesion go beyond that of normal families, since they do it to justify their orientation.

In same-sex parenting, all the children involved are well accounted for (Tang 360). This means raising children under same-sex parenting systems is very important. For most same-sex couples, the decision to raise children comes after long consideration. Same-sex parents “tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average, because they chose to be parents” (Pappas). Gays and lesbians rarely become parents by accident. This results in a higher level of commitment and involvement in their parenting. On the other hand, it is a common occurrence for opposite-sex parents to have children accidentally. In these instances, childcare from such parents is subject to certain flaws. Whereas there are limited instances of child-neglect reported from same-sex parent families, a big percentage of children born accidentally to opposite-sex parents end up in neglect (Tang 360). In conclusion, parents who put more thought and consideration into raising children are generally more competent parents.

The development of children is also reflected through the extent of responsibility exhibited by the children. While opponents of same-sex parenting continue to unravel all the possible problems this type of parenting system poses, there is one thing that can be said about same sex parenting: this system of parenting induces responsibility and patience to children in a better way than opposite-sex parenting. This comes from the fact that about 80 percent of same-sex parents have been victims of discrimination for a significant part of their lives (Mittelstaedt 354). These experiences can allow same-sex parents to teach their children how to patiently responsibly various obstacles in life.

Patience and responsibility usually befall people, especially children, when there are a number of decisions to make. As young children develop, they usually face situations which require them to make a choice. Decision-making is not always difficult. However, when the decisions made are subject to judgment by other people or occur under the surveillance of the public, it becomes tasking for inexperienced children. However, the fact that same-sex parents survive under constant societal judgment enables them to pass on the tolerance that binds them together for their children (Gilgoff 45). This way, children under same-sex parenting systems develop responsibility and patience earlier in life and carry on to use those traits to their advantage later in life.

One aspect of parenting is the care given to the children by the parents. Proper parenting techniques therefore dictate adequate responsibilities from parents to their children (Marks 735). However, it is evident that same-sex parents are more responsible than opposite-sex parents. This is because “most children in same-sex parenthood systems are adopted” (Bernheim 41). Adopted children call for more care because they are in search of a sense of belonging, and adoption is revocable if adequate care is absent. The kind of responsible characteristics reflected from their parents serve as a reference point to fostering the responsibility of their children in the society around them.

The environment in which children grow up greatly influences how the children relate to events later on in life. This happens to all children, regardless of the sexual orientation of their parents. In light of the above, as children of same-sex couples grow, they witness their parents suffer prejudice due to their sexual orientation. In that context, the fact that their parents do not give up, but rather continue raising them as normal, motivates them to face any challenge that appears before them. “As an extension from their parents’ families, they at times receive discriminative treatments from other people, especially in schools” (Fetter-Harlot 237). However, with the tolerance they learn from their parents, they are able to forgive with ease, and this enables them to lead happier lives.

Although parenting may differ between couples, children will remain being children. The general psychology of children in similar developmental stages is relatively similar. This means there are behavioral characteristics that will surface in children from same-sex parenting systems and opposite-sex parenting systems alike. One of the common behaviors evident from school-going children is bullying. However, “the ratio of bullies whose parents are of the same-sex is significantly lower than that of bullies originating from opposite-sex parenthood systems” (Martino & Cumming-Potvin 481). This supports the idea that same-sex parents serve as positive role models to their children, and these children exhibit that truth in social places such as playfields and schools by portraying moral behaviors as they relate with their peers.

The development of a child under a same-sex parenting system is considerably straightforward. One important factor to support this is the fact that most children in such setups are usually products of adoption. In light of this, “when the same-sex parents are adopting, they do so in a considerable way” (Raleigh 450). They enumerate the characteristics of the child they would like to have and adopt the one who most meets their expectations. This means they adopt children who bear qualities that do not hinder them in terms of development, be it physical, educational or psychological (Raleigh 450). This is unlike opposite-sex parents who mostly bear their own children and cannot have control over the developmental limitations that their children may have after birth. In light of this, children of same-sex parents lead relatively happier lives since they receive adequate attention from their parents.

The fact that same-sex parents are in a constant battle with opponents of such marriages gives them an extra effort in cause them to put extra effort into their parenting (Gilgoff 45). “Other than the normal parenting duties of advising and controlling their children’s behavior, same-sex parents involve themselves in offering extra lessons to their children on how to counter the negative comments and treatments in life” (Gilgoff 45). It comes from the pressures they face for being in a relationship that is considered “abnormal” by society. The intention of same-sex parents is to provide their children with the skills they need to endure similar obstacles they may face in life and in the process have the freedom to explore life from any perspective of their choice.

The fact that children of same-sex parents begin learning survival skills from their parents at an early stage in their lives provides the virtues of responsibility and endurance, which differentiate them from their peers from families with parents of the opposite sex (Gilgoff 45). This responsibility also acts as the source of the positive learning attitude that they exhibit in schools (Gato, Freitas & Fontaine 205). Holding all factors constant, the above literature reviews show there is a higher positive learning attitude exhibited in schools by children from same-sex parenthood backgrounds, especially with reference to good morals, compared to those from backgrounds with parents of the opposite sex.

The development of children relies on a number of different factors. One of the most important factors in influencing a child’s development is parenting. Parenting’s materiality lies in the provision of physiological, psychological and emotional needs. With all these needs provided, a child’s positive development and growth are guaranteed. This means that as long as all the above parenting requirements are present, sexual orientation of the parents does not matter in a child’s development. In short, same-sex parenting works just as well, if not better, as far as the development of a child is concerned.

References

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